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Warning Signs
Survival Tips
Success Story

Here are some survival tips to use if you are in an abusive relationship and are planning to leave. These tips have proven to be effective and have helped in the process of taking back their lives.

Personnel Items
Remove all-important paperwork from the house (if not the originals make copies) including:
Bank Accounts
Social Security Numbers (including children and the abuser)
Birth Certificates
Marriage License
Insurance Policies
Wills
Retirement Plans / 401K
Sentimental Valuables
Keep an address book with important numbers

Open a Checking / Savings Account in your name only. Use a different bank and have the statement sent elsewhere. Start saving money.

Keep extra clothes, house keys, car keys, favorite toys or blankets, and toiletries for the children and yourself at a safe location (car, work, family, friends).

Talk with your children about a safety plan so that everyone can get out safely. Teach younger children to dial 911 to call for help if necessary.

Inform your Childcare Provider of the situation; so extra precautions can be made so that the children are always safe when you are at work. If a TPO (Temporary Protect Order) exists make sure a copy is left with the childcare provider.

If you are able to stay at the residence, change door locks, install a deadbolt lock or chain guard. Make sure all windows and doors are kept locked at all times. If the abuser comes to the house stay calm and call 911 immediately.

The most important thing to remember is to take care of yourself so you are able to take care of your children. There are plenty of people and organizations that are willing to help you and your family through these difficult times.

Seek counseling, utilize support groups or reading books. Here are some excellent resources.

Self Help Publications

"Getting Free: A Handbook For Woman in Abusive Relationships" by Ginny NiCarthy

"The Gift of Fear" by Gavin Becker "Walking on Eggshells" by Brian Ogawa